The Fantasy We’ve Created

There’s a growing, dangerous disconnect in the pet industry—a delusion that’s not only hurting dogs, but putting people at serious risk. And I’m done staying quiet about it.

We live in a world where predators are treated like babies, where dogs are paraded in onesies and pushed in strollers, where people introduce themselves as their dog’s "mom" or "dad" and talk about “fur babies” as if these animals are children. I get it. I love dogs. I have two of them. They are the center of my world. But love without responsibility is not love—it’s negligence dressed up in sentiment.

And look — calling yourself “mom” or “dad” and referring to them as your “baby” isn’t the problem. The danger is in the mindset those words often reflect — or replace. We are not housing stuffed animals. We are living with creatures who are biologically, genetically, and behaviorally wired to maim and kill. They are predators. And pretending otherwise is one of the most deadly mistakes we can make.

This isn’t about fear. It’s about education — because understanding what dogs are is the only way we can meet their needs and respect their nature.

One of the clearest windows into a dog’s true nature? Play. Play isn’t just fun for dogs—it’s practice. Tug, chase, tackle—this is rehearsed violence. Social play is structured, yes. It involves rules. But at its core, it is a way for dogs to sharpen their skills for real-life confrontation. The only difference between a scuffle and a full-blown attack is intention, threshold, and context. And the line between those can be razor thin.

Your dog doesn’t have to be viscous to be dangerous. I adore my dog — I trust him more than most people. But every dog has the capacity to bite, to fight, and to protect what they believe is theirs. If that doesn’t scare you at least a little, you’re not paying attention.

You should feel something when you look at your dog — not just love, but gravity. The same way you’d feel holding a loaded gun. That weight. That awareness. Not because you expect it to go off, but because you know what could happen if you’re careless. If you’re arrogant. If you forget what you’re holding. With firearms most people agree there should be training, responsibility, caution — because we’ve seen what happens when deadly force ends up in the wrong hands. Sandy Hook. Parkland. Uvalde. Sutherland Springs. Las Vegas.

We have licensing, background checks, required safety courses for guns. Yet anyone can walk out with a four-legged weapon wired to bite — because there are no universal laws, no required training, and no background checks demanded by statute. Sometimes your dog’s future is decided by a nineteen-year-old volunteer behind a folding table, and the law has nothing to say about it.

It shouldn’t be this easy to bring home something that can KILL.

Because dogs are weapons. Not by nature, but by design. Bred to bite, to guard, to hunt, to drive livestock, to pull, to chase. We shaped them with purpose. And now, we bring them into our homes with no real understanding. We don’t research their drives. We don’t prepare their needs. We don’t ask what they were built to do. And even if we do, shelters and rescues don’t know. They don’t know the breeds. They don’t know the drives. So neither do you.

You need to be trained. You need to be prepared. And you need to acknowledge the full spectrum of what your dog is capable of, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

The truth is, there’s no perfect system. But that doesn’t mean we settle for broken ones. Some rescues don‘t know what they’re placing. Others know — and lie. Some breeders care about the breed. Others breed for cash. It’s YOUR job to know the difference. Because every time you choose where you get your dog, you’re casting a vote.

And the “adopt don’t shop” phrase is bullshit. You are shopping. You’re choosing which apex predator gets to live in your home. That decision should scare you a little. It should make you careful. Pick the dog that fits your life, your skillset, your reality. Because when it goes wrong — it doesn’t just go wrong — it shatters lives.

And that’s exactly why training shouldn’t be optional. This isn’t about teaching tricks or checking a box so people think you’re a “responsible dog owner.” This is about living safely with an animal who can do real damage if you get it wrong.

You’re not just training your dog — you’re training yourself to handle power. You’re teaching your kids to respect it. You’re setting boundaries for every friend, neighbor, and stranger who steps into your space. Because this isn’t just a pet. It’s a predator shaped to coexist with humans — and if you don’t lead, it will decide what leadership looks like.

Too many people are more worried about hurting their dogs feelings than other people’s safety. But structure isn’t cruel — it’s responsible. Crates, muzzles, boundaries — they’re not just for “aggressive” dogs. They’re for dogs. Period. Because love doesn’t stop a bite. Preparation does.

Everyone wants a gentle approach until their fur baby stops listening. Until it lunges. Until it bites. We’re out here trying to “positively reinforce” our way through survival — on animals bred to hunt, guard, fight, and win. Your kindness won’t unhinge a locked jaw. And when your dog grabs hold — do you even know what to do? Most people don’t. They freeze. And by the time they come to, it’s already too late.

I’m not saying you should hurt your dog — I’m saying you should be willing to lead them — even if it makes you uncomfortable. Use every applicable tool available to create clarity, not chaos. It’s not about dominance, and it’s not about comfort. It’s about safety. It’s about making sure that when your dog is triggered, you are still in control. Because when things go sideways, you don‘t get to explain that you were trying to be kind. You either had control — or you didn’t.

Not everyone should have a dog. NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A DOG!

“A dog is better off kenneled in your home for long hours than kenneled in a shelter.” That’s what they say. But better for who? Dogs don’t need your guilt-soaked affection or a fenced yard to pace in; they need leadership, purpose, work. Unmet needs rot them from the inside out — warping love into necrosis, anxiety into violence. And when it finally explodes? Your dog isn’t saved by your good intentions — they’re drowning in them.

If you think your dog “would never,” you’re not seeing the full picture. Every dog — no matter the breed, size, or personality — has the capacity to do serious harm. They are apex predators living among us, wired with instincts that don’t just vanish because you love them or because they’re “family.” Responsibility isn’t a choice. It’s the cost of living beside something that can kill.

And because the system fails us so completely — it falls on us to face the truth. To stop pretending that love is enough. To stop mistaking affection for leadership. Because denial doesn’t just live in shelters and rescues — it shows up in everyday choices.

If you don’t have real, reliable control over your dog, it shouldn’t be off leash. Period. And for all the “It’s okay, my dog is friendly!” people out there — you need to understand one thing:

That. DOES NOT. Matter.

Let’s for the sake of argument say that your dog is indeed friendly — the dog they’re walking up to could be a killer, and you wouldn’t know. And when that owner yells “Get your dog!” — it could be for your sake, not theirs. Are you really so naïve to send your dog off to be mauled, maimed, or killed all because you didn’t have control?! If you can’t even keep your dog under control, why should anyone trust your opinion on how safe they are? Hell most people think if the dog is wagging it’s tail that means it’s friendly. WRONG!

Dogs shouldn’t be greeting strange dogs. Not on sidewalks. Not at vet lobbies. Not in pet stores. Nowhere. Your dog doesn’t need random friends — that’s not socialization, that’s roulette.

Want your dog to have friends? Great. Let’s normalize intentionality. Let’s normalize setting up structured, thoughtful intros on neutral ground, with people who actually understand dog behavior. Who know how to observe, advocate, and adjust. Let’s normalize saying “not today” or “no thanks” without guilt. Let’s stop forcing dogs into chaotic social situations and calling it “exposure.” It’s not. It’s stress. And too much stress, too often, turns into aggression.

And for the love of God — stop letting strangers pet your dog just because they ask. You are allowed to say no. In fact, you should. Because that person doesn’t know your dog. They don’t know what fear looks like. They don’t know what tension feels like. They don’t know the signs before a snap — and they’ll be the first to scream “unprovoked” when your dog finally says “enough.”

Same goes for kids. Train your kids. Train your dogs around kids. Because the stats don’t lie: most bites happen to children. Most of those are to the face. And it’s almost never the “aggressive” dogs. It’s the “good” ones — the ones who were pushed too far, with no space, no out, and no one advocating for them.

You are your dog’s leader. Start acting like it. Lead with boundaries. Lead with education. Lead with the humility to admit that you don’t always know best — but you’re willing to learn. Because the second you stop treating this relationship with the gravity it deserves, someone gets hurt. And it won’t be your dog’s fault.

Because this isn’t just about your dog.

It’s about every person they meet. Every kid they walk past. Every animal they see. Every moment where you get to choose whether to act out of responsibility — or out of arrogance.

You don’t get to forget what you’re holding.

You don’t get to love a loaded gun and pretend it’s a stuffed animal.

You wanted a dog?

Be worthy of one.

Content Warning: Graphic Real Footage of Dog Attacks — Viewer Discretion is Advised

The following video contains real, unedited footage of dog fights and bite incidents across multiple breeds. It includes disturbing scenes of both human and animal injury, as well as high-stress panic and trauma responses from bystanders.

I’m sharing it not to shock you — but to wake you up. And give you some tools what to do if you ever find yourself in this situation.

This is what it looks like when people don’t know what to do. This is what happens when we treat predators like toys, when we ignore warning signs, when we expect love to override instinct. The people in these videos weren’t cruel. They weren’t bad owners. They were unprepared. They froze. They panicked. They waited too long. And by the time they realized they were in danger — it was already too late.

[Watch the video here https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1KNNdYzMUh/]

Thank you L.W. Canine Behavior & Training for the eye opening video.